Tomorrow I will be going to my last first day of classes. Tomorrow is day 1 of my second semester of fourth year. Holy cow, where has the time gone.
I can remember it so clearly, the first day of frosh week when my dad dropped me off at my dorm room. We made each other a promise not to cry or to extend the goodbye for too long. And then that was it. Alone, at the mere age of 17, in a different province across the country from my parents.
The first two years were a blur. They dragged on as I was going through the motions of having to get every assignment done on time and studying day and night for all my exams. It was insane, nearly killed me. I hated my life, but I thought that once I was done these four years everything would be figured out. I would have my shit together and life would go as planned.
Thats where I was wrong. Third year came around… same old stuff only easier now since I have had so much practice. I had much more spare time on my hands and I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to do with this degree. Do I even like it anymore? Yes the environment will always be important and people need to protect it, but it that what I was interested in? Third year was a struggle, I wanted to switch my major to nutrition, but I never got around to it. I did not want to add anymore time onto my degree than I had to. I am homesick for Alberta and am pretty much done with living over here on the East coast for a while.
And now we have arrived at the last stretch in fourth year. Where has the time gone… more lost then ever these days trying to figure out what I am going to do once I graduate in May and scared as hell to go out into the real world. People may say university is the ‘real world’, but I can assure you it is not. Most of the people you meet here have only the knowledge from classes and the books they read. Many have not travelled at all and do not understand what is out there. Not saying by any means that I do, but at least I know that I am just a tiny blob in this massively confusing and competitive society.
I have been told that people grow up with age…I can also assure you that is not true. Drama that you dealt with in high school and were so happy to leave behind continues into university only at a higher degree. It then continues in most workplaces because people are just bored with their lives and need to gossip or hurt others to feel better about themselves.
I don’t want to be one of those people. I don’t want to settle for a job that won’t fulfill me or that I have no interest in, which is where the hard part comes in. How do you know what you truly want to do with your life? You can’t limit yourself. Passion is the biggest driver.
I wish you all luck in your future, whether you are returning to school too or already have a career.
Until next time,